After surprisingly receiving our LOA, we got off our paperwork to USCIS for our official approval to adopt Asher.
It is said the average for this approval is about 2-3 weeks.
We hope to hear something maybe by the end of next week or early the following week. We will be working with the same officer who approved our I800A. She was very friendly and worked efficiently, so I don't anticipate any problems with this step.
We also sent off our Visa applications. It will be Jay, Lenea and myself traveling. I was shocked at the cost of that! But, it is done and we should have those in our hands in another week.
No other big news right now. I am starting to buy clothes and things for Asher. He has a new car seat, several very cute bibs, a few new outfits and next I plan to get his crib. (Need to wait a bit more for finances for that though.) It is hard to buy too many clothes since I am really guessing at what his size would be. I am buying a few 18 months and mostly 2T and a few 3T. I do have a few that my older boys wore that I pulled out too. Right now I am sticking with overalls that can be length adjusted and still work if he is extra skinny too. It will be winter when we get him so I think this will be perfect for my dilemma. I am not sure about shoes though. I am trusting he will have a pair on when we pick him up. But in the photos he was wearing girl sandals and I don't want him to have wear girl shoes when we get him. I just may bring a few different sizes and buy one there if they don't work.
Soon, in another week or two I am going to start on my packing list and putting that together.
So excited that we should be traveling to China in another 10 weeks or so! I know it will go so fast and before we know we will be meeting our little boy.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
APPROVAL!!
We got LOA (Letter of Approval) from China today. We were shocked and blessed by our Lord.
It was only 38 days from our Log In Date, which is much less than the average.
So I get to post photos of our little guy now. (Please ignore the pink, which is typical for boys, likely because they have more girl clothing donated.)
Introducing Asher Thomas Quan
It was only 38 days from our Log In Date, which is much less than the average.
So I get to post photos of our little guy now. (Please ignore the pink, which is typical for boys, likely because they have more girl clothing donated.)
Introducing Asher Thomas Quan
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
What is the next best thing to LOA?
An UPDATE!
We asked over 2 weeks ago for an update and still hadn't heard. I was beginning to think maybe we would be one of those families that would just have to wait until we got to China.
But, we got an update, with most of my questions answered, although I still don't know his weight and height. And we got two new photos. I still can't post them until we get our approval, which hopefully is only a few weeks away. He is still precious, but looking more like a toddler and NOT a baby.. Sniff, sniff, he is growing fast like all little ones do. Your prayers for our patience, especially mine would be appreciated. We still have a good 4 months to wait to meet him.
Here are the questions and answers.
We asked over 2 weeks ago for an update and still hadn't heard. I was beginning to think maybe we would be one of those families that would just have to wait until we got to China.
But, we got an update, with most of my questions answered, although I still don't know his weight and height. And we got two new photos. I still can't post them until we get our approval, which hopefully is only a few weeks away. He is still precious, but looking more like a toddler and NOT a baby.. Sniff, sniff, he is growing fast like all little ones do. Your prayers for our patience, especially mine would be appreciated. We still have a good 4 months to wait to meet him.
Here are the questions and answers.
1. What does he like to eat?
He likes to eat rice in fish soup, rice in egg soup.
2. Is he still on the bottle?
He is still drinking milk with a bottle. He can drink water in a bowel.
( I was really hoping this was still the case, remember "bonding". Not sure what "bowel" means, but maybe "cup".)
3.Is he walking?
Yes, he can walk freely.
4. Can he talk?
He can say 1-2 words phrases. Like when he sees the water is boiling, he would say "Kai le, Kai le" (meaning it is boiling, it is boiling)
5. Is he still in a foster family and how long will he remain there?
He lives in the foster home and he will stay in the foster home until Gotcha Day.
(Again, another answer to prayer. While our first days with him will be hard, it will still be best for him developmentally and for our attachment with him.)
6. Is his palate repaired?
His lip has already been repaired.
7. Where does he sleep?
He sleeps in the small bed next to the foster mother's bed by his own.
(So glad for this, but again hard those first few nights.)
8. How is his health?
He is healthy. No illness.
9. What is his personality like?
His personality is very calm, sincerity, and bonded with the foster family. After he had his cleft lip repair surgery. His first response was to look for his family. When he saw the foster father, he showed peaceful and relieved expression. He likes outdoor activities and new toys.
10. We requested that if his palate had not been repaired that we would prefer them to wait if the opportunity arose. That way he would have it done with us, to keep the continuity of his care and help us bond with him.
His lip has been repaired. His palate has not been done. It can be done after he is home to the adoptive family.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Quilts For Sale
My sweet, teen daughters spent hours making beautiful, "Crazy" quilts for us to raise money for Asher's adoption.
Both of the quilts are baby-sized, and would work nicely in a crib. Blocks are machine sewn with hand-stitched embroidery throughout the quilt. Then they were machine quilted and bound. Both of the girls were done the same time as our County Fair. Therefore, they entered them into the Open Class, which happens to be very competitive for quilting.
Eliza picked a red, white, and blue theme, with complimenting colors. It has a solid blue back. Her quilt won 2nd place.
Here it is:
Eliza's quilt is onsale for $80 plus postage of $15 (in USA only). THIS Quilt HAS SOLD!
This quilt is 54" by 36".
All money will go toward adoption expenses.
Makenna made more of a pastel colored quilt, with pinks, blues, lavender and greens. She added some pretty lace and even more embroidery than the other quilt. The back of her quilt is a pretty cream that has it's own special raised pattern. Her quilt won 1st place and Youth Champion.
Makenna's quilt is a little bit larger than the first and has more embellishments and embroidery,so she is selling hers for $100 plus $15 postage (in USA only). THIS QUILT HAS SOLD!
Again all money will go toward adoption expenses.
If you would like more photos send me a message with your email address and I can send them to you.
I will get measurements up in another day, it is getting late.
Both of the quilts are baby-sized, and would work nicely in a crib. Blocks are machine sewn with hand-stitched embroidery throughout the quilt. Then they were machine quilted and bound. Both of the girls were done the same time as our County Fair. Therefore, they entered them into the Open Class, which happens to be very competitive for quilting.
Eliza picked a red, white, and blue theme, with complimenting colors. It has a solid blue back. Her quilt won 2nd place.
Here it is:
Eliza's quilt is on
This quilt is 54" by 36".
All money will go toward adoption expenses.
Makenna made more of a pastel colored quilt, with pinks, blues, lavender and greens. She added some pretty lace and even more embroidery than the other quilt. The back of her quilt is a pretty cream that has it's own special raised pattern. Her quilt won 1st place and Youth Champion.
Makenna's quilt is a little bit larger than the first and has more embellishments and embroidery,
Again all money will go toward adoption expenses.
If you would like more photos send me a message with your email address and I can send them to you.
I will get measurements up in another day, it is getting late.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
To Friends and Family and LOA still waiting
I wanted to share a few of the ways we will be parenting Asher with our Loved Friends and Family,
Because of the need for attachment, that Asher likely had little experience with and we need it with him as his Mommy and Daddy we will be purposely regressing him back to babyhood, even though he will be almost 2 years old. We will encourage him to take a bottle, let us rock him, and meet all his needs immediately as if he were a new baby in our arms from day one.
This will encourage Asher to become dependent on Mommy and Daddy, therefore help him to realize he is safe, loved and can therefore bond and form an attachment, that will be healthy.
Children, who come from these type of circumstances are going to have some attachment issues. All these issues take time, patience, love and meeting their needs hundreds, and hundreds of times, until that trust is finally established.
Asher's bed will be in our room, right next to our bed. If he wants to co-sleep we welcome that. We loved having all our babies sleep with us when they were little. It helped us get a little extra sleep, especially Mommy, and it helped us feel connected. This is one of the highly recommended tools used for attachment.
It may appear to others that we are spoiling him when we meet his needs immediately. But it is the foundation for us to gain his trust. If he had times at birth, in the orphanage, or even in foster care that he was hungry (had food, but maybe not enough) and knew that he was missing that bond with his biological mama, he will have mistrust of any care taker. We aren't planning to spoil him with material things or giving into his whims and wants, but his needs- comfort, food, love etc.
We won't be using many babysitters,church nurseries, etc at least for the first 6 months, maybe longer, whatever he needs. Again, this is to promote attachment and bonding, not to selfishly keep him to ourselves. :) Can you imagine having to leave your foster family and all that you have ever known all of a sudden?? He may fear that we will leave him too.
We won't be allowing many people at all, to hold him when we first get home. That will be very hard for us, because we know most of you will want to love on him too and show your support. The good news is that if we can help him not be confused with whom his parents are, and teach him that he comes to Mommy and Daddy for comfort, love and even food, then again we gain that bond and attachment. Then also, because he will have a healthy relationship and bond with us, he will in the future be able to have attached relationships with others.
Another big thing for us will be that he will likely have a major surgery on his palate within a couple of months of coming home. This will be stressful, exhausting, challenging, painful and also very good for attachment. If you will please remember to pray for him, the doctors and our whole family at that time.
When Asher comes homes please be careful about talking or asking questions about his "adoption" in front of him. We are opened to discuss anything we have learned or gone through with this process and in the future privately with you, but for Asher he needs to hear and be seen as our son, not treated or introduced as our "adopted son". He will be a part of our family just like our biological children. We will not be keeping the fact that he is adopted from him. Obviously he will look a lot different, so we couldn't try that anyway. He will always know he is special and is adopted, these 2 issues we plan to keep personal and talk about when he is ready. Imagine trying to talk to a 2 year old about being abandoned. We don't mind talking about it, just not in front of him.
We have done over 40 hours of training and read numerous books on attachment and bonding. We are implementing what we learned from that. Please be patient with us as we get to know one another, and learn to be his Mommy and Daddy.We may handle a situation differently than you would but, dealing with an almost 2 year old ADOPTED child with a language barrier is not something most of us get to do.The first few weeks or couple months we will not be doing many outside things, please also support us in that. Feel free to call and encourage us though, as we will be likely very tired, and having some rough days too. Our biological children will need understanding too, this will be a huge adjustment for them as well. Thankfully, they are resilient and are anxiously anticipating having a cute, Chinese toddler around.
On another topic. Approval?? Nope, nothing, nada, zilch...This waiting is hard.
Right now we are completing the last of our training and going to get that to our agency to approve. Then we will fill out the forms for the next step to be waiting for approval to come.
Unfortunately, it seems LOAs have been slowing done still. There hasn't been much word on them with a China adopt forum I read. Please pray that the Lord would intervene and that we would be one the of the fast ones..
Because of the need for attachment, that Asher likely had little experience with and we need it with him as his Mommy and Daddy we will be purposely regressing him back to babyhood, even though he will be almost 2 years old. We will encourage him to take a bottle, let us rock him, and meet all his needs immediately as if he were a new baby in our arms from day one.
This will encourage Asher to become dependent on Mommy and Daddy, therefore help him to realize he is safe, loved and can therefore bond and form an attachment, that will be healthy.
Children, who come from these type of circumstances are going to have some attachment issues. All these issues take time, patience, love and meeting their needs hundreds, and hundreds of times, until that trust is finally established.
Asher's bed will be in our room, right next to our bed. If he wants to co-sleep we welcome that. We loved having all our babies sleep with us when they were little. It helped us get a little extra sleep, especially Mommy, and it helped us feel connected. This is one of the highly recommended tools used for attachment.
It may appear to others that we are spoiling him when we meet his needs immediately. But it is the foundation for us to gain his trust. If he had times at birth, in the orphanage, or even in foster care that he was hungry (had food, but maybe not enough) and knew that he was missing that bond with his biological mama, he will have mistrust of any care taker. We aren't planning to spoil him with material things or giving into his whims and wants, but his needs- comfort, food, love etc.
We won't be using many babysitters,church nurseries, etc at least for the first 6 months, maybe longer, whatever he needs. Again, this is to promote attachment and bonding, not to selfishly keep him to ourselves. :) Can you imagine having to leave your foster family and all that you have ever known all of a sudden?? He may fear that we will leave him too.
We won't be allowing many people at all, to hold him when we first get home. That will be very hard for us, because we know most of you will want to love on him too and show your support. The good news is that if we can help him not be confused with whom his parents are, and teach him that he comes to Mommy and Daddy for comfort, love and even food, then again we gain that bond and attachment. Then also, because he will have a healthy relationship and bond with us, he will in the future be able to have attached relationships with others.
Another big thing for us will be that he will likely have a major surgery on his palate within a couple of months of coming home. This will be stressful, exhausting, challenging, painful and also very good for attachment. If you will please remember to pray for him, the doctors and our whole family at that time.
When Asher comes homes please be careful about talking or asking questions about his "adoption" in front of him. We are opened to discuss anything we have learned or gone through with this process and in the future privately with you, but for Asher he needs to hear and be seen as our son, not treated or introduced as our "adopted son". He will be a part of our family just like our biological children. We will not be keeping the fact that he is adopted from him. Obviously he will look a lot different, so we couldn't try that anyway. He will always know he is special and is adopted, these 2 issues we plan to keep personal and talk about when he is ready. Imagine trying to talk to a 2 year old about being abandoned. We don't mind talking about it, just not in front of him.
We have done over 40 hours of training and read numerous books on attachment and bonding. We are implementing what we learned from that. Please be patient with us as we get to know one another, and learn to be his Mommy and Daddy.We may handle a situation differently than you would but, dealing with an almost 2 year old ADOPTED child with a language barrier is not something most of us get to do.The first few weeks or couple months we will not be doing many outside things, please also support us in that. Feel free to call and encourage us though, as we will be likely very tired, and having some rough days too. Our biological children will need understanding too, this will be a huge adjustment for them as well. Thankfully, they are resilient and are anxiously anticipating having a cute, Chinese toddler around.
On another topic. Approval?? Nope, nothing, nada, zilch...This waiting is hard.
Right now we are completing the last of our training and going to get that to our agency to approve. Then we will fill out the forms for the next step to be waiting for approval to come.
Unfortunately, it seems LOAs have been slowing done still. There hasn't been much word on them with a China adopt forum I read. Please pray that the Lord would intervene and that we would be one the of the fast ones..
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